In two days, FX's What We Do In The Shadows will be flapping its batwings back into our hearts (Wednesday, April 15; and April 16 on FX on Hulu), with Laszlo (Matt Berry), Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), Nandor (Kayvan Novak), Colin (Mark Proksch), and Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) stepping up for a second-season run. For Laszlo, Nadja, and Nandor, the biggest threats won't be coming from ghosts, witches, and zombies as much as from the insanities of mortal life (ugh, Super Bowl parties). For Colin, it's about expanding his horizons and growing as a vampire. Translation: find new ways to feed without being so painfully boring, and apparently one that results in hair. Meanwhile, Guillermo's trying to reconcile his position as familiar to one of the undead with his genetic disposition to kill them so you can see how things can get very complicated very quickly.
So with our four vampires and faithful familiar pretty much all in the same boat, they clearly have a tight, unbreakable bond. Except that's not actually the case, and it's not just vampires treating a familiar poorly because that's to be expected (and always funny). Sadly, what we're talking about is the vampire-on-vampire disrespect you're about to see in the following mash-up video. Aside from the anti-energy vampire prejudice Laszlo, Nadja, and Nandor have against Colin, you'll also see that there's not a whole lot of love flowin' between that threesome. Because no matter how much you think you have in common, sometimes? Roommates just suck.
Haley Joel Osment (The Sixth Sense, The Boys) is set to guest star this season of What We Do in the Shadows, working directly with Demetriou and Berry as Nadja and Laszlo's new familiar Topher. Unlike Guillermo, Topher is beloved by the other vampires, though series co-showrunner and executive producer Paul Simms believes they might love him a little too much: "The vampires love Topher so much that even if he were to have an accident and die, they would not give up on wanting him as their familiar — even if he's not physically what he was when he arrived at the house.
For our bloodthirsty lovebirds, Simms sees Toper as a breath of fresh air: "Nadja and Laszlo haven't had much luck with picking familiars. So when they finally find this young guy Topher, they're so excited. He's the new guy, and to them, seems so much cooler and hipper than Guillermo." Still, Jemaine Clement wants to make it clear that Guillermo will get his time to shine this season: "The vampires and their love for Topher is being rubbed in Guillermo's face, all while he's secretly protecting them from danger. A thankless job, obviously. But as the season progresses, Guillermo finally listens to what is driving him inside and really kicks some ass. I dare anyone to underestimate Guillermo because he's ready!"