WWE Biographies, Probably Sanitized, to Premiere on A&E in April

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, with news on those episodes of Biography about wrestlers coming from WWE and A&E. WWE has revealed the air dates of their upcoming 8-part series of Biography documentaries focusing on WWE Superstars, as well as the WWE memorabilia hunting series Most Wanted Treasures. The 8-part Biographic series will begin on Sunday, April 18th, airing at 8PM Eastern time. The documentaries will cover Stone Cold Steve Austin, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Macho Man Randy Savage, Booker T, Shawn Michaels, The Ultimate Warrior, Mick Foley, and Bret the Hitman Hart.

WWE Studios produced an 8-part series of Biography documentaries about WWE Superstars for A&E.
WWE Studios produced an 8-part series of Biography documentaries about WWE Superstars for A&E.

But before you get too excited, comrades, it's worth noting that these documentaries are produced by WWE Studios, so they'll be kayfabe, of a sort. For example, don't expect to see the Steve Austin biography to talk about him pleading no contest to beating his then-wife Deborah Marshall in 2002, or to see The Ultimate Warrior talking about how "queering don't make the world work" at one of his bizarre public speaking gigs to promote his unhinged personal philosophy, Destrucity. But perhaps they will surprise us, like the time Putin showed up at the monthly dictators' potluck and he brought a tray of his "famous pelmeni" that he actually cooked himself, instead of obviously buying from a store on the way over and trying to pass it off on his own, like no one is going to say anything just because he controls a massive nuclear arsenal. So people can change, comrades. Then again, he did hack the American election the next week. Haw haw haw haw!

Anyway, here's the eight episodes that will premiere on April 18th at 8PM ET:

"Biography: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin" – Directed by Jake Rogal and Executive Produced by Jason Hehir ("The Last Dance," "Andre The Giant"), this film traces the story of the man who became WWE's biggest star in the 90s. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's authentic, fiery personality epitomized WWE's "Attitude Era" and transformed him into a pop culture icon. After nearly being paralyzed by a neck injury, Austin made one of the greatest comebacks in WWE history. He was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2009.

"Biography: "Rowdy" Roddy Piper" – Directed by Emmy and Peabody Award winner Joe Lavine (ESPN 30 for 30 "Playing for the Mob," HBO "Namath"), this film focuses on "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, who is universally considered one of WWE's greatest villains. During his Hall of Fame career, he played the role of the antagonist against a who's who of WWE greats, while amassing more than 30 championships.

"Biography: "Macho Man" Randy Savage" – Produced by Billy Corben and Alfred Spellman ("Cocaine Cowboys," "Screwball," ESPN 30 for 30 "The U"), this film will tell the larger-than-life story of one of the most colorful and charismatic Superstars to ever step foot inside the ring. With two WWE Championships, four WCW® World Championships and a 14-month reign as Intercontinental Champion, Savage became known for his famous catch phrases, larger-than-life personality and the enormous, flashy robes he wore into the ring.

"Biography: Booker T" – Directed by Emmy and Peabody Award winner George Roy ("The Curse of the Bambino", "Mayweather"), this film showcases one of the greatest Superstars in sports entertainment history. Booker T is an 11-time WCW Tag Team Champion, a six-time World Champion, winner of the 2006 King of the Ring Tournament, and a two-time (2013 and 2019) inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame. In addition to his Hall of Fame career in the ring, Booker T also went on to become a color commentator for WWE's weekly programming.

"Biography: Shawn Michaels" – Directed by Joe Lavine ("Rowdy" Roddy Piper, ESPN 30 for 30 "Playing for the Mob," HBO "Namath"), this film chronicles the wild life of one of WWE's greatest performers and most enduring villains. After drug addiction nearly cost him his life, Shawn Michaels, aka "The Heartbreak Kid," made one of the most improbable late-career comebacks in WWE history. He was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2011.

"Biography: Ultimate Warrior" – Directed by Daniel Amigone ("24/7 Red Wings: Maple Leafs – Road to the Winter Classic," "Chain of Command," "The Circus: Inside the Greatest Political Show on Earth") and Executive Produced by Jake Rogal and Jason Hehir ("The Last Dance," "Andre The Giant"), this film shares the story of Ultimate Warrior, a WWE Hall of Famer who inspired an entire generation of fans living by his mantra of "always believe." With his colorful face paint and equally colorful interviews, Ultimate Warrior is perhaps best remembered for defeating Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania VI to become both the WWE Champion and the Intercontinental Champion.

"Biography: Mick Foley" – Directed by Thomas Odelfelt (24/7 "Mayweather-Marquez," 24/7 "Penguins-Capitals: Road To The NHL Winter Classic," HBO "Courtside At The NBA Finals") and Executive Produced by Jake Rogal and Jason Hehir ("The Last Dance," "Andre The Giant"), this film follows the unique, multifaceted career of Mick Foley, a 2013 WWE Hall of Fame inductee better known as "Mankind." A fan favorite during WWE's "Attitude Era," Foley shocked audiences in 1998 during a career defining match as he was thrown off the top of the Hell in a Cell by Undertaker.

"Biography: Bret "Hitman" Hart" – Directed by George Roy ("Booker T," "The Curse of the Bambino," "Mayweather," HBO "Mantle"), this film tells the story of Bret Hart, one of the greatest technical athletes in WWE history, earning him nicknames "The Hit Man" and "The Excellence of Execution." Throughout his storied career, the five-time WWE title holder famously defeated "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, Ric Flair and Yokozuna, and was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2006.

The WWE "Biography" documentaries are produced by WWE Studios for A&E Network. Executive producers for WWE Studios are Kevin Dunn, Chris Kaiser, Susan Levison, and Richard Lowell. Executive producers for A&E Network are Elaine Frontain Bryant and Brad Abramson. A+E Networks holds worldwide distribution rights.

About El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!