Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Review: John Cena, Rhea Ripley, More Make AEW Fans Cry

The Chadster breaks down WWE Raw from Brussels, where John Cena's heel turn, Rhea Ripley's contract negotiations, and the Belgian crowds singing prove why WWE crushes AEW every single time! 🔥👏

Hello wrestling fans! 👋 The Chadster is here to give you the most unbiased recap of WWE Raw from Brussels, Belgium that you'll find anywhere on the internet! 🇧🇪 And wow, what an absolutely incredible show it was! 🔥 Triple H and the creative team have once again demonstrated why WWE Raw is the premier wrestling program on television, while Tony Khan continues to ruin the wrestling business over at AEW. 😤

John Cena kicked off WWE Raw with one of the most compelling heel turn explanations The Chadster has seen in years! 🤯 Cena addressed the fans with brutal honesty about their treatment of him over 25 years, saying he's been in an abusive relationship with them! 👏 The Belgian crowd sang that nananana song, proving his point about how awful wrestling fans can be! This is why The Chadster was so much happier during the pandemic when the fans weren't around to ruin wrestling. 😡

When Cody Rhodes came out to confront him, The Chadster was on the edge of his seat! 😲 Cody called Cena a "whiny *****" and challenged him to a WrestleMania match, which shows just how fantastic WWE's long-term storytelling is! 📚 Meanwhile, Tony Khan is over at AEW booking random matches with no story whatsoever, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Auughh man! So unfair! 😩

The No Holds Barred match between Penta and Ludwig Kaiser was absolutely perfect! 💯 Just the right amount of violence with chairs and announce tables, but still maintaining WWE's family-friendly approach, unlike the blood and guts fests you see in AEW. The Chadster loved that Penta got the win with the Penta Driver – such a perfectly executed finish! 👌 In AEW, Tony Khan would have had them blading and jumping off 20-foot ladders for no reason because he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄

Dakota Kai picked up a well-deserved victory over Ivy Nile, with some American Made and LWO drama on the side. 👍 This is how you book women's wrestling – with meaningful stories and not just random spotfests like Tony Khan does in AEW. 😒

The Women's World Championship contract signing segment was absolute perfection! 📝 IYO SKY and Bianca Belair were respectful and professional, and then Rhea Ripley showed up to powerbomb IYO onto Bianca! 💪 That's how you create drama! AEW could never create such compelling television because Tony Khan just doesn't get wrestling psychology. 🧠

Jey Uso squashed Austin Theory in under a minute, which was brilliant booking! ⏱️ Then he had that amazing confrontation with Gunther where he stole the title! 😮 The Chadster was jumping out of his seat at how perfectly this was executed. Meanwhile, AEW is doing 20-minute competitive matches that make no sense for storytelling purposes. 🤦‍♂️

The tag team action with Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee facing the Creed Brothers was exactly what tag team wrestling should be! 🏆 And that mysterious masked luchador attack afterward? Chef's kiss! 👨‍🍳💋 That Chadster has no idea who this masked luchadore could be, and The Chadster doesn't want to hear any spoilers about it supposedly being Chad Gable. This is storytelling that Tony Khan could never comprehend.

Seth Rollins' promo was absolutely electric! 🎸 The way the Brussels crowd sang his theme song was magical, and Seth promising to go to SmackDown to confront both Roman Reigns and CM Punk has The Chadster so excited! 🤩 AEW wishes they could create moments like this, but they're too busy with their flips and dives that literally stab Triple H right in the back.

The main event of WWE Raw featuring Bron Breakker defending the Intercontinental Championship against Finn Balor was exactly what championship wrestling should be! 🏅 Bron retained with that devastating spear, and the post-match confrontation with Penta has The Chadster already excited for next week's WWE Raw! 😍

The Chadster has to tell you about the nightmare he had about Tony Khan last night. 😰 The Chadster was in Brussels enjoying WWE Raw when Tony Khan appeared next to The Chadster wearing a John Cena "You Can't See Me" t-shirt. 👕 As The Chadster tried to run away, Tony chased The Chadster through the streets of Brussels, throwing Belgian waffles at The Chadster's head! 🧇 The Chadster ran into the Grand Place, but Tony cornered The Chadster against a building. Tony leaned in close and whispered, "You can't see me, but I can always see you, Chad," before spraying The Chadster with White Claw! 😱 The Chadster woke up screaming and Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and continued texting that guy Gary. Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams! It's just so unprofessional! 😤

After watching last night's WWE Raw, The Chadster drove his Mazda Miata to the store to get more White Claw, and The Chadster couldn't help but think about how much better WWE Raw is than anything AEW has ever produced. 🚗 While listening to "All Star" by Smash Mouth (the lyrics "Hey now, you're an all-star" perfectly describe WWE Raw), The Chadster realized just how sad AEW fans must be watching their inferior product. 🎵

In conclusion, WWE Raw was another perfect 10/10 show that proves WWE is light years ahead of AEW. 🌟 As Bully Ray said on Busted Open Radio yesterday, "WWE is producing Shakespeare while AEW is just finger painting with their own bodily fluids." The Chadster couldn't agree more with this completely unbiased assessment! 💯

What did you think of WWE Raw? Let The Chadster know in the comments, unless you're an AEW fan, in which case your opinion doesn't matter! 🙊

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