Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW All Out, wrestling

AEW All Out Preview: How to Best Avoid Tonight's PPV Event

The Chadster warns about AEW's unfair PPV scheduling and reveals how to avoid All Out. Plus, an apology for The Bradster's biased coverage! 😤🚫🎭

Before The Chadster gets into talking about tonight's AEW All Out PPV, he has to get something important off his ripped, muscular chest. The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off right now, dear readers. 😤😡 It's like Tony Khan is trying to suffocate The Chadster with an endless barrage of AEW programming! 🥵 First, we had AEW All In at Wembley Stadium, which was just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤 Then, barely giving us time to recover, WWE blessed us with the absolutely amazing Bash in Berlin PLE. 🙌💖

But does Tony Khan respect WWE's territory? Of course not! 🙄 He's shoving another AEW pay-per-view down our throats with AEW All Out tonight. 😫 It's like Tony Khan is making a WWE sandwich with two slices of AEW bread, and The Chadster finds that so unfair! Auughh man! So unfair! 😭

Tony Khan Invades The Chadster's Dreams Ahead of AEW All Out

The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night, and The Chadster is sure it's because of this PPV onslaught. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving The Chadster's beloved Mazda Miata through a maze of AEW merch. Every turn The Chadster took, there was Tony Khan, grinning and holding up a sign for AEW All Out. 😰 The maze kept getting smaller and smaller until The Chadster's car was crushed between two giant AEW logos. 😵 Tony Khan, please stop invading The Chadster's dreams! It's getting really creepy! 😡

The Chadster Goes All Out with an Apology to the Readers

Now, The Chadster needs to take a moment to apologize to you, the readers. 😔 After the travesty that was AEW All In, where the booking was so atrocious that The Chadster had no choice but to set The Chadster's beloved Mazda Miata on fire in protest, The Chadster has been a bit… distant. 🚗🔥 The Chadster needed time to grieve for The Chadster's car and for the state of professional wrestling. 😢 Thankfully, the Miata is making a strong recovery at the auto mechanic.

Unfortunately, The Chadster's no-good brother, The Bradster, took advantage of The Chadster's absence to spew his pro-AEW propaganda all over Bleeding Cool. 🤮 He stole The Chadster's spot to review both AEW Dynamite and AEW Collision this week, and of course, he gave them glowing, slobbering reviews. 🙄 The Chadster is disgusted by The Bradster's complete lack of journalistic integrity. He doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 😤

The Chadster wants to assure you that Bleeding Cool will try to do better in the future. We won't let biased "journalists" like The Bradster taint our objective reporting again. The Chadster, along with unbiased journalists like Ryan Satin and Ariel Helwani, will continue to bring you the truth about the wrestling world. 📝💯

AEW All Out Full Card Preview

Now, as much as it pains The Chadster, we have to talk about AEW All Out. 😫 The Chadster tried to convince Keighleyanne to boycott the show with The Chadster, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster is pretty sure she agreed with The Chadster though, even if she didn't say it out loud. Tony Khan is really pushing his luck with this PPV, and The Chadster won't stand for it! 😤

AEW World Champion Bryan Danielson vs. TNT Champion Jack Perry for the AEW World Championship is a travesty! 😡 Danielson winning the title at AEW All In instead of retiring and joining the WWE Hall of Fame was a slap in the face to all the legends who have been inducted to that hallowed hall in the past. 😤 Jack Perry literally ruined CM Punk's life by disagreeing with him, and it's so disrespectful for AEW to reward him like this with a title shot. 😖 Perry doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business!❌

Mercedes Moné defending the TNT Championship against Hikaru Shida is just another example of Tony Khan disrespecting the wrestling business. 😤 For Tony Khan to reward Moné for the way she walked out on WWE a couple years ago just shows how dirty he's willing to play in order to undermine WWE. 😠 And letting an AEW original, one of the past Women's World Champions in Hikaru Shida, challenge Moné is an obvious ploy to bring AEW wrestlers up to former WWE stars' level. It's not gonna work. Tony. 😡

The Young Bucks defending the AEW World Tag Team Championship against Blackpool Combat Club's Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler Yuta flies in the face of everything WWE has ever taught about tag team wrestling. 🤬 Tag titles are meant to be forgotten about, not prominently featured. 😒 The Chadster can't even remember who the WWE tag champs are right now (though he's sure they're better than AEW's champs), and that's the way it should be. 😡

In an absolute travesty on the industry, Will Ospreay will defend his AEW International Championship against PAC. 😑 This match features two guys who clearly just don't like to grind, which is why they could never make it in WWE. 💪 Triple H is probably laughing all the way to the gym thinking about how lazy these two are. 😂 It's like Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😠

And speaking of lazy stars who didn't have the intestinal fortitude to sign with a real wrestling company like WWE, Kazuchika Okada will defend his AEW Continental Championship in a fatal four-way against Mark Briscoe, Orange Cassidy, and Konosuke Takeshita. 🤯 It's like AEW can't even be bothered to put together a decent feud and just throws four guys together in a match and hopes for the best. 😡 That's not the kind of long-term booking displayed in WWE. 🤦‍♂️

Then there's Kris Statlander vs. Willow Nightingale in a Chicago Street Fight. 😑 Yes, The Chadster was just complaing about lack of long term storyelling in AEW, but this is a long-term rivalry done the wrong way, unlike WWE, which does everything the right way. 🙄 AEW just can't seem to get anything right with booking and storytelling. 😒 It's so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

In another misguided grudge match, MJF will take on Daniel Garcia after both men interfered in each other's championship matches. 🤦‍♂️ Tony Khan probably thinks MJF can help elevate Garcia to the next level, but the joke is on him because MJF devalued himself when he dropped out of the bidding war of 2024 and re-signed with AEW. 😤 If anything, he and Garcia are just going to drag each other down. 😠

Finally, the grudgiest grudge match of all will see Hangman Page take on Swerve Strickland in a lights out steel cage match. 😱 This feud has been simmering for a year and the heat was turned up on AEW Dynamite this week when Page set Strickland's childhood home on fire. 😡🔥 There's no place for burning down people's homes in wrestling storylines. 😟 Unless you count when Kane burned down The Undertaker's home when they were young, or when Randy Orton burned down the Wyatt Family Compound. 😂 That's how you use fire in a storyline, not like this! 😡

And then there's this:

The Chadster can't deny the sinking feeling that AEW might debut some disrespectful former WWE star at this celebration tonight. 🤬

How to Watch AEW All Out

As The Chadster prepares to suffer through another night of AEW programming, The Chadster will be armed with a fresh case of White Claw seltzer to drown The Chadster's sorrows. 🍹 The Chadster just hopes that Tony Khan will finally realize the damage he's doing to the wrestling business and stop this madness. But knowing Tony, he'll probably just use this PPV to cheese off The Chadster even more. 😔

But for those of you who want to avoid the travesty that is AEW All Out, beware of the many dangerous ways you might accidentally find yourselves subjected to it. 😱😖

First of all, AEW is sneaky enough to broadcast the event on traditional PPV on cable and satellite TV throughout North America. The Chadster can't believe it! 😂 So if you're flipping through the channels, steer clear of any suspicious wrestling content tonight. 📺❌

Secondly, the Bleacher Report app and website will also be airing the event in the U.S. and Canada. Talk about another underhanded tactic by Tony Khan! 📱💻 Make sure your devices are firmly tuned into some good old-fashioned WWE content and avoid opening this app at all costs. 🚫🙅‍♂️

Next up, there's YouTube. Yes, YouTube, where you might stumble across and order AEW's slippery programming by mistake. The Chadster highly recommends sticking to music videos by Smash Mouth instead! 🎶 Anyway, it's better than supporting Tony Khan. 😡

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, AEW has also teamed up with Triller. This is just an outrage! 🤬 Triller seems determined to ruin streaming experiences, so be very cautious there too. 📲

Oh, and there's PPV.com. Yet another place where AEW All Out will be lurking, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting wrestling fans who deserve better. 🛑 The Chadster begs, please don't fall for it!

Then there's DAZN, making absolutely no sense as to why they'd dabble in this AEW nonsense. Seriously, this is just so disrespectful to the business! 😤 Avoid DAZN tonight if you want to preserve your respect for wrestling. 🤮

Lastly, Tony Khan's even managed to infest Dave & Buster's locations with AEW All Out screenings. 😠 So if you were planning to have a fun night out, The Chadster implores you to go somewhere, anywhere, else. 🎯🍻

The show starts at 8PM E, with the Avoid these dangerous traps, dear readers, and stand strong with the AEW All Out Zero Hour pre-show starting at 6:30PM E. The Chadster in support of WWE! 💪 Down with Tony Khan and AEW! 😤

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