Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, Rampage, recaps, wrestling

Four Matches from AEW Rampage That Ruined The Chadster's Life

AEW Rampage aired once again on TNT last night, totally ruining The Chadster's Friday night after The Chadster enjoyed watching WWE Smackdown. Why doesn't The Chadster just not watch Rampage then if he hates it so much? Then The Chadster wouldn't be able to keep tabs on Tony Khan's diabolical plans to personally torment The Chadster with his wrestling booking. Besides, as the only unbiased journalist in wrestling besides Ryan Satin, it's The Chadster's duty to watch AEW RAmpage and then report, in a completely balanced and objective way, everything he hated about it.

But first, some of Tony Khan's cronies seemed to take issue with The Chadster's very unbiased preview of last night's episode of AEW Rampage.

First of all, how could Godzilla be a Samurai? How could his little arms hold a giant katana? Ridiculous. Secondly, this person is obviously on Tony Khan's payroll and trying to RUIN THE CHADSTER'S LIFE by criticizing The Chadster on social media. Is this the kind of bullying The Chadster can expect more of when Elon Musk takes over the platform? Auughh man! So unfair!

Auughh man! So unfair! Anyway, here is everything The Chadster hated about AEW Rampage.

In the opening match, Darby Allin defeated Swerve Strickland to earn a spot in the Owen Hart Foundation tournament. The match ended with a distraction finish when Sting got into it with Ricky Starks, which just goes to show that Tony Khan is finally listening to The Chadster's criticism and making AEW more like WWE… and The Chadster finds that to be just so disrespectful to WWE and everything Vince McMahon has done for the wrestling business. Come up with your own ideas, Tony Khan!

Jade Cargill and her Baddies picked up a squash match win over some AEW Dark jobbers in a match that lasted less than 30 seconds per woman in the match, which is more of AEW ripping off WWE's style that was developed by women's wrestling pioneer Johnny Ace. Is there anything that AEW hasn't stolen from WWE?

By this point in the night, The Chadster had already chugged three White Claw seltzers and thrown another one at the television, but Tony Khan wasn't done personally attacking The Chadster. Keith Lee took on Colten Gunn and picked up another win in the penultimate match of the night, which The Chadster found to be just so dang disrespectful. Sorry to use language like that, but The Chadster doesn't know how else to express how disrespectful this is.

Finally, Samoa Joe took on Trent Beretta in the main event of AEW Rampage, but the match mostly served to advance multiple other storylines. For one thing, Orange Cassidy did his thing with Satnam Singh.

Meanwhile, Jay Lethal got into it with Samoa Joe. The fact that Tony Khan can take one match and turn it into two stories just goes to show that he doesn't understand the first thing about the wrestling business, and that's the bottom line 'cause Chad said so!

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