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Marty Jannetty Likens Case of Mistaken Identity to…Police Brutality?

Washed up pro wrestler Marty Jannetty has done it again! The former 80s and 90s WWE star who's Facebook posts have spawned a thousand insane headlines has taken to Facebook to claim he was jumped in New York City and then suggest he isn't getting the same attention for the beatdown as Breonna Taylor, an innocent woman who was murdered inside her own home in March by police officers serving a warrant. In a Facebook post including a screenshot of a visitor survey sent allegedly to his phone by Jamaica Medical Center, Jannetty wrote, "Dude, where is my phone?..NYC, they jumped me and took me to the hospital(Jamaica Medical Center) I was in front of JFK airport trying to go home..they jumped me from behind..I locked one of them up((arms stiff waving at heaven) when you in NYC and get jumped from behind, you probably getting robbed…the Dr apologized, said mistaken identity..I liked him, was very nice to me..my boiy Nicholas Masci came back and got me to the airport..but..dude where's my phone??"

Marty Jannetty in better days.
Marty Jannetty in happier times.

And if it had ended there, this wouldn't even have ranked on the top 100 bananas Marty Jannetty Facebook posts, but Jannetty went on to add, "PS- why Breanna Taylor got all that attention on mistaken identity?? I got NONE..is it because I'm white???"

If Marty Jannetty Facebook posts were the sort of things that were possible to answer in any kind of reasonable way, then it might make sense to answer, "because you were not murdered by police in your home as part of an ongoing series of events tied to systemic racism," or "did you know you spelled Breonna Taylor's name wrong," or even "how would the doctor at the hospital know someone punched you because they mistook your identity, as opposed to on purpose or at random (side note: who was Janetty mistaken for? Rick Moranis?)," but we all know by now that attempting to apply reason in this scenario would be a waste of time. This is, after all, just the latest in a long line of absolutely bonkers behavior by Jannetty, who's recent antics have included asking whether he should have sex with his daughter, claiming that his phone was hacked and then eaten by a goat when he asked that, asking if he should have sex with a potentially underage fan, posting a photo of himself covered in what he implied was cocaine, admitting to a murder that allegedly took place during the 1970s, and then walking back that murder confession by claiming it was a wrestling angle.

Back in 2017, Jannetty's Facebook was "hacked" and posted a struggle over whether or not to have sex with a woman who he at one time believed to be his biological daughter. "If you love me as much as I loves you, you will give your opinion,,just did DNA( 2 weeks ago)..she's NOT my daughter..we both held out of sex because you don't do that..but now that we ain't???? From a guy's side ..SHES ****ING HOT..but..she's been daughter.. I want to too, but can't get past that.."

According to Jannetty, who, at the time, posted a press release announcing, "BREAKING NEWS FOR ALL MEDIA!!! NO SEX WITH DAUGHTERS!!!," Jannetty explained that his phone had clearly been hacked, and also that a goat had recently eaten the phone. The goat, named Trash McNasty, had a habit of eating Jannetty's personal possessions, as when Jannetty tried to retrieve the phone, the goat also ate his car keys. Janetty also made headlines in 2019 when he posted a selfie in which his face and neck appeared to be covered in white powder with the caption, "Ive not done of cocaine in over an hour. this is probbly why Bianca doesnyt loves me… I Loves you Bianca..daddy is f*ck uk.. But sure loves you.. I promises to do better."

Singing Goat, photo by Veronika A / Shutterstock.com.
Singing Goat, photo by Veronika A / Shutterstock.com. Not actually Trash McNasty.

In May of this year, Marty Jannetty took to Facebook to ask for advice on whether he should have sex with the daughter of one of his fans who claimed to be 20, but Jannetty did not believe she was actually of legal age. The post read, "Ok, I rarely do this, but gonna ask your advice..she claims 20, which in Bama is legal..BUT..does she look 20 to y'all..she said her mother is a huge fan of mine but she will f' me first..see, this is the sh*t y'all don't gotta deal with..do you think I don't want to? But..not trusting on the age."

Back in August, Jannetty posted about a man he claimed to have murdered at a bowling alley in Georgia as a teenager, writing, "I never told no one this, even my brother Geno..cause Geno would've killed him, and I didn't want my brother gone,,hell he'd only recently came home from Viet Nam..I was 13, working at Victory Lanes bowling alley buying weed from a fag that worked there..and he put his hands one..he dragged me around to the back of the building..you already know what he was gonna try to do.." Jannetty said in the original and since-deleted post on August 5th. "That was the very first time I made a man disappear..they never found him..they shoulda looked in the Chatthoochie River..but Winnie(the girl in these pics) I likes you so damn much, probably my favorite..but I promised myself way back then, nobody would ever hurt me again..that includes you..I loved you but you hurt me with your fuckin Jamaican jealousy..you can go your own way, I don't need you.."

Jannetty then reversed course a month later, posting, ""I DID NOT MURDER THAT MAN!!!" Jannetty shouted in a long Facebook post about the incident. "It was just the beginning of a damn wrestling storyline..but OH MY GOD, OMG.. Didn't the WORLD buy it??!! I never knew it could be that easy..I mean, INSIDE EDITION(whom Im a fan of even though they slant/favor democrat), PEOPLE MAGAZINE, TMZ, FOX NEWS, that fake ass National Inquirer,..and ALL MAJOR NEWS OUTLETS WORLD WIDE jumped on this story..it got so hot I had to drop it..when my Columbus, Ga. Police Department got involved, I knew I had to drop it…or as my bruh Snoop Dogg says ;'drop it like its hot, drop it like its hot' lol..loves ya Snoopy.."

Around that same time, Jannetty also suddenly became very vocal about his criticism of the Black Lives Matter movement. Jannetty said, "I'm ALL FOR white people understanding that black people have to grow up differently because of color, I know it, I see it since a kid..hell most of my friends are black and I have a lot of black girlfriends..but f*ck, my black brothers and sisters gotta realize too..we(white people) act different over seeing black people because of a few who rape, rob, pillage and kill us, and yet you only make up 15% of the American population..it ain't that we don't love y'all, its we're scared of what you might do to us(and the ones who ain't scared of ya, get labeled racist)..and yes, its just a few, that spoil the whole damn bunch..but please explain to me how we can tell, you AIN'T one of the few???"

"PS- YES, BLACK LIVES MATTER," Jannetty continued, "and I respect and support that(even though its a democratic owned movement) but to my tons of black friends..TRUTH MATTERS TOO!!"

Of course, that post calling for peace and racial harmony was misinterpreted, prompting Jannetty to report that he can't be racist because he has Black friends… and they will kick your ass if you call him racist. "What I want you to do, is, CALL ME A RACIST ONE MORE TIME!!" Jannetty posted. "You asked for a conversation, I did what most whites won't do, brought the truth..and now you call me a racist..tell that to my Detroit crew(miss you Corey, RIP my brother)..tell that to New Jack, tell it to my daughter, tell it to Boogyman..tell it to my beautiful Winnie, tell it to my great wrestling students in Tallahassee..then RUN..they ALL will beat yo ass for saying that on me.."

So take all of this with however many grains of salt you need to; probably enough grains of salt to require immediate hospitalization for what it does to your blood pressure. But by this time next week, Jannetty will probably have posted a dozen new wild things that will make this one seem like a distant memory. That is if his phone isn't once again eaten by a goat.


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Jude TerrorAbout Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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