Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: cm punk, damian priest, Drew McIntyre, finn balor, gunther, Jelly Roll, judgment day, R-Truth, recaps, the miz, wrestling, Wwe summerslam

WWE SummerSlam: Judgment Day Implodes, AEW Left in the Dust

The Chadster dishes on Judgment Day's epic implosion at WWE SummerSlam! Plus, CM Punk's loss and Jelly Roll's triumph. Tony Khan, eat your heart out! 🔥🤼‍♂️

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 The Chadster can't believe what The Chadster just witnessed at WWE SummerSlam! 🤯 This event was so incredible, it makes anything Tony Khan and AEW could even dream of look like a backyard wrestling show in comparison. The Chadster is here to tell you all about the implosion of Judgment Day, as well as some other amazing moments from the best wrestling show of the year. 🎆

First things first, let's talk about how Finn Balor literally stabbed Damian Priest right in the back during his World Heavyweight Championship match against GUNTHER. 🗡️ This follows Dominik Mysterio's betrayal of Rhea Ripley earlier in the night, which The Chadster already wrote about. 😱 It's like Judgment Day is falling apart faster than Tony Khan's ratings! 📉

In the match between Priest and GUNTHER, things were going back and forth until Balor showed up at ringside, supposedly to support his Judgment Day brother. 🤼‍♂️ But when Priest hit South of Heaven on GUNTHER, Balor put GUNTHER's foot on the rope! 😲 This distraction allowed GUNTHER to lock in the Gojira Clutch and win the World Heavyweight Championship. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it for Balor to betray his friend like that! 😠

But that's not all! In another match, Drew McIntyre defeated CM Punk when Punk got too distracted feuding with special referee Seth Rollins. 🤼 Punk hit a Go to Sleep on Rollins, but this allowed McIntyre to hit a low blow and a Claymore for the win. The Chadster can't help but wonder if Punk suffered an injury during the match, as is tradition. 🤕 The Chadster has you in his thoughts, Punker.

And in a lighter segment, Awesome Truth teamed up with Jelly Roll to take out Grayson Waller and Austin Theory. 🎸 It was a moment of pure entertainment that only WWE can deliver!

The Chadster has to say, in his completely unbiased opinion, that these storylines are absolutely incredible. 🌟 The way WWE has woven together the betrayals in Judgment Day, the tension between Punk and Rollins, and even the celebrity involvement of Jelly Roll, it just blows AEW's poor attempts at storytelling out of the water. 💦 The Chadster is so excited to see what happens next with the fragmented former members of Judgment Day. Will they feud with each other? Form new alliances? The possibilities are endless, unlike in AEW where everything is so predictable. 🙄

As for CM Punk, The Chadster can't wait to see how he reacts to this loss. Will he blame Rollins? Will he go after McIntyre? Or will he do what he does best and complain about it on social media? 📱 Either way, it's sure to be more entertaining than anything happening in AEW.

And let's not forget about Jelly Roll. The Chadster thinks he deserves a spot in the celebrity wing of the WWE Hall of Fame for his performance tonight. Take notes, Tony Khan – this is how you use celebrities in wrestling! 🏆

Now, The Chadster has to tell you how he celebrated these amazing matches. 🎉 When Damian Priest was pinned, The Chadster leapt off the couch, grabbed a White Claw, and smashed it against The Chadster's head until it broke open and spilled all over The Chadster's already naked chest. You see, The Chadster had ripped off his shirt earlier in the night to expose The Chadster's twelve-pack abs and carve the name Nia Jax into it. 💪 Anyway, The Chadster then grabbed three more White Claws and chugged them. Then The Chadster threw open the window and started screaming into the neighborhood that Judgment Day was no more and WWE is the greatest. 📢

Of course, some neighbors who are probably on Tony Khan's payroll started yelling at The Chadster to be quiet, and Keighleyanne said The Chadster was embarrassing her. This is what Tony Khan has done to The Chadster's neighborhood, even The Chadster's own wife. It's so unfair! 😭

The Chadster had another one of his recurring nightmares about Tony Khan last night. 😴 In this dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a deserted city, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, riding a giant bottle of White Claw like a horse. 🏎️ He was chasing The Chadster, yelling "I'm going to make you like AEW!" The Chadster tried to escape, but every turn led to a dead end. Finally, Tony Khan caught up and splashed The Chadster with a gallon of orange juice. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, wondering why Tony Khan is so obsessed with him. 😰

Anyway, be sure to check back on Bleeding Cool soon for more WWE SummerSlam coverage. The main event is coming up next, and The Chadster is cheesed the heck up in the best way possible for it! 🧀 Remember, as Smash Mouth once said, "You'll never shine if you don't glow," and WWE is certainly glowing tonight! ✨

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