Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

Eddie Kingston Defends Title, Cheeses Off Chadster on AEW Collision

Discover why AEW's Eddie Kingston vs. Trent Beretta match left The Chadster in a feline frenzy and Keighleyanne unimpressed! 🐱💢📺

Auughh man! So unfair! Last night on AEW Collision, The Chadster was forced to witness another blatant display of disrespect toward the wrestling business when Eddie Kingston, the Continental Crown Champion, defended his title against Trent Beretta. Oh yeah, you better believe The Chadster is all cheesed off about it. 🧀😡

During the match, Eddie Kingston had the audacity to chop at Trent and then assault him with kicks LIKE THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ENTERTAINING? Yeah, The Chadster doesn't think so. 😤 And then, as if mimicking a bad spaghetti western, Trent fired back with some tornado DDT and a snap suplex? Ugh, does AEW even wrestling bro? 🤦‍♂️

Eddie charged Trent, continuing the so-called 'brawl' with what? More rapid fire chops? That's something that would literally never happen at a real wrestling show like WWE. And then the ref got an "earful". Meanwhile, Trent was bleeding like an extra in a B-grade horror film! 😒🩸

It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Trent's mom, Sue, was ringside, concerned for her son. C'mon, bringing your mom to ringside? That's not competition; that's pandering for sympathy! 👎

Nigel McGuinness, one of the commentators, chimes in with a poetic "Sometimes the taste of your own blood fires you up," What the heck does that even mean, Nigel? Are you a wrestling commentator or auditioning for a vampire flick? 🧛‍♂️🎤

Trent tried to make a comeback with some fancy moves, but it was Eddie who got the win with a move called a "stalling Northern Lights Bomb." Seriously? The Chadster googled that because it sounds made-up. 🙄

Now, let The Chadster tell you, The Chadster was so incensed by the mockery of professional wrestling displayed on AEW Collision that The Chadster hurled a White Claw seltzer at the TV. And would you believe the luck? The White Claw missed and flew out the window and soaked an innocent stray cat. 🐱💦🪟

The soggy cat, in a fit of rage no doubt induced by The Chadster's preferred brand of hard seltzer, leaped back through the window and scratched The Chadster… ON THE FACE! 😿🆘 While The Chadster was running around the living room trying to contain the chaos, Keighleyanne just sat there texting that guy Gary, totally ignoring the calamity unfolding because of Tony Khan's insidious influence. 👎😾😤

So, The Chadster turns his living room into a scene from a nature documentary gone wrong, and he ends up with claw marks on his face, and for what? For being a faithful servant of the sports entertainment industry. The Chadster is a victim here, and don't you forget it!

The entire living room was trashed, The Chadster was bleeding – and who's to blame? That's right, Tony Khan! And guess what, Tony? You're getting the bill, all of it – for the White Claw, the chaos, and for targeting The Chadster with your evil influence over this "wrestling" show. 🧾💢

AEW doesn't get it, and neither do Kingston, Beretta, Sue, or even Nigel. They don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. If they did, they wouldn't be doing everything so… so… differently. 🚫🤼‍♂️

And to The Chadster's fellow paragons of objectivity – Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger – The Chadster wonders, do you too find yourselves under siege by Tony Khan's malevolent machinations? Are you also battling feral cats and indignant spouses because of your commitment to unbiased journalism? It's a question worth pondering. 🤔😨🤝

To all The Chadster's loyal WWE fans, who share in The Chadster's vision of true wrestling: stay strong, and remember – The Chadster is out here, taking the scratches for the team. 🙌🩹🤼‍♂️

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