Jim Cornette appeared recently on Busted Open Radio, and he discussed the topic that everybody's been talking about for the last few years: Roman Reigns. How do you solve a problem like Roman? Cornette has the answer: sodomy. And also some other stuff, but sodomy is, for some reason, the prevalent theme. Here's what Cornette had to say, as transcribed by 411 Wrestling:
I would somehow – because Daniel Bryan was the root of it, and we can go back to WrestleMania 30 in New Orleans, LA. If he is the root of it I would somehow try to get him involved in it. I would try and get those two guys together. I have talked about this on my podcast before, in some way, get those guys together in terms of an interview, or a tag team match, or Roman Reigns bails out Bryan in a situation, where then Roman Reigns can turn around and sodomize Daniel Bryan, and do something to him. Then, unleash it. In the 2018 version of 'Die Rocky Die,' just unleash it.
But Daniel Bryan isn't the only person Cornette thinks Roman Reigns should sodomize. According to the pro wrestling legend, Roman should sodomize… pretty much anyone:
I was born to this. I was going to have all of this, but it was because of you, just unleash it. At the same time, he doesn't have to be a heel, heel, just a 'don't trust anybody,' type heel turn where he just doesn't trust anybody. That got over before, didn't it? Then, when Stephanie McMahon comes out to congratulate him to see the light, he can then cuss her out and anybody named 'McMahon.' The point is, he can not like anybody. Feed him some underneath babyfaces that he can sodomize, heels too.
Well, alright then. He continued:
I wouldn't have him lay Stephanie McMahon out right away, but he can do it where he doesn't like management, or fans, but just let this guy be this anti-everybody, and let the writers be away from him, just let him write his own material. Put every emphasis into him being against everything and everybody as you have tried to make him this smiley, ice cream bar guy, and see what it can do. Just give him a chance. If it generates heat, it's the right reaction, but if he gets go away heat, then he can get that type of heat, but after all, how can I miss you if you won't go away? Just give him a chance to be different. Eventually, the dirtier he gets, the more they are going to like him and respect him a bit. There must be blood.
We're not sure exactly how effective sodomizing everyone on the roster will be in getting fans to cheer Roman, but it will definitely be popular in certain segments of the internet, where there's no shortage of Shield slashfic. In any case, Cornette has survived this long in the business, so maybe WWE should try listening to him?
We say, sodomize away, Roman Reigns. It couldn't go any worse than things are going right now.