73-Year-Old Man Who Played Santa Claus Violently Attacked on Christmas

Spoiling what should have been a lovely holiday, a 73-year-old man was brutally attacked on Christmas day, just 24 hours after a well-received performance as beloved religious figure Santa Claus. The attack, the latest in an ongoing War on Christmas, occurred on Tuesday's Christmas episode of WWE Smackdown Live, perpetrated by former WWE Champion A.J. Styles, a video gamer who has denied allegations that he subscribes to the flat Earth conspiracy theory. The man: acclaimed wrestling and football promoter, and genetic jackhammer, Vince McMahon, a personal friend of President Donald Trump.

Dressed as the jolly Christmas icon Santa Claus on Monday's Christmas Eve edition of Monday Night Raw, McMahon had recently gifted the entire WWE Universe the return of John Cena and a Women's Tag Team Championship division, making the physical attack Tuesday night all-the-more revolting. The encounter between McMahon and Styles occurred at the end of Tuesday's show, and began with McMahon, seemingly showing signs of senility, unable to remember who Styles was despite employing the internationally-renowned wrestler.

"I want to ask you your name. What's your name?" a confused McMahon asked. "Who are you?"

McMahon followed that up by wondering why Styles wasn't booked in a match, despite McMahon being the person responsible for booking the matches. McMahon, lost in delusion, then began poking and prodding Styles, claiming that a wild animal was living inside the former champ's body and demanding to see it. It was then that a frustrated Styles punched the 73-year-old in the face, knocking him to the floor.

Styles' assault is only the latest in a recent string of attacks on the septuagenarian, who was headbutted by Kevin Owens back in 2017. WWE has released footage of last night's assault, which you can view below, but be warned: the graphic video may shock you.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!