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AEW Dynamite on 34th Street: The Opposite of a Miracle

Tony Khan ruins Christmas with AEW Dynamite on 34th Street! The Chadster endures flippy matches, cheating, and even a Tony Khan Santa impersonation. 😤🎄❌

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Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan would stoop so low as to air AEW Dynamite on 34th Street on Christmas Day. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡 The Chadster was forced to watch this travesty instead of enjoying the holiday, and now The Chadster is going to tell you all about it. 🎄❌

Kyle Fletcher and Will Ospreay come face-to-face on AEW Dynamite on 34th Street
Kyle Fletcher and Will Ospreay come face-to-face on AEW Dynamite on 34th Street

AEW Dynamite on 34th Street started with a Continental Classic match between Will Ospreay and Brody King. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan insists on putting on these flippy, no-psychology matches. It's like he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. Ospreay won with his fancy moves, but The Chadster was not impressed. 🤷‍♂️

Next up was Darby Allin vs Ricochet in yet another Continental Classic match. 😒 More flips and dives that make no sense. The match ended in a time-limit draw, which is just Tony Khan's way of avoiding having to book a real finish. So lazy! 🥱

Then we had, you guessed it, another Continental Classic match featuring Komander vs Claudio Castagnoli. 😠 Komander used brass knuckles to win, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business. WWE would never allow such blatant cheating!

After the match, there was a big brawl with Jon Moxley, Jay White, Orange Cassidy, and Adam Page. It was just chaos, nothing like the well-organized brawls WWE puts on. 🤦‍♂️

Kazuchika Okada beat Shelton Benjamin in another Continental Classic match that The Chadster didn't care for. 😑

Then Toni Storm defeated Taya Valkyrie in a match that was way too short. The Chadster doesn't care for this amnesia gimmick that Toni Storm is experiencing. It reminds The Chadster of the real mental anguish that Tony Khan causes to WWE fans on a regular basis, and The Chadster feels that this should not be a topic played for humor. Do better, Tony Khan. 👎

Swerve Strickland and Ricochet had a backstage segment that made no sense to The Chadster. 🤔

And finally, Kyle Fletcher beat Daniel Garcia in the main event, which was also another Continental Classic match. The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan would end AEW Dynamite on 34th Street with two wrestlers who have never even paid their dues the right way by coming up in WWE developmental, something Booker T also addressed on his podcast recently, saying, "If a wrestler didn't come up through the WWE system, they're just disrespecting the business and everything WWE has ever done for it." The Chadster couldn't agree more, and he doesn't understand why Tony Khan doesn't heed this well-meaning advice offered in the spirit of fairness and objectivity. It's like he's trying to cheese off The Chadster personally! 😤

But The Chadster has to tell you about something even worse that happened on Christmas Eve. 😱 The Chadster was sleeping peacefully when a noise woke him up. Thinking it might be Santa, The Chadster crept downstairs, only to see a figure with curly dark hair and an impish grin. It was Tony Khan! 😡

The Chadster watched in horror as Tony Khan replaced all the presents under the tree with AEW merchandise. He even changed out the ornaments to AEW logos! 🎄 But the worst part was when Tony took bites out of the cookies and arranged the crumbs into the AEW logo. When The Chadster tried to confront him, Tony escaped up the chimney! 🏃‍♂️

Tony Khan, The Chadster is warning you to stop meddling in Santa's business! It's bad enough that you're ruining wrestling, but now you're ruining Christmas too? So unfair! 😭

The Chadster tried to tell Keighleyanne about this incident, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster is pretty sure she agrees with The Chadster about how awful Tony Khan is, though.

In conclusion, AEW Dynamite on 34th Street was a complete disaster, just like every episode of AEW. 🗑️ Tony Khan continues to prove that he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. The Chadster can only hope that one day, Tony Khan will stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and leave both wrestling and Christmas alone. 🙏

As Smash Mouth once said, "You might as well be walkin' on the sun." That's exactly how The Chadster feels watching AEW – it's painful and makes no sense. Now, if you'll excuse The Chadster, he needs to go for a drive in his Mazda Miata to cool off. Maybe a White Claw will help too. 🚗🍹

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Chad McMahonAbout Chad McMahon

Chad McMahon, otherwise known as The Chadster, is a lifelong professional wrestling fan and now journalist. The Chadster's legendary commitment to objectivity in journalism caused him to found The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, an elite group of wrestling journalists dedicated to exposing the evils of AEW and its belligerent leader, Tony Khan, while extolling the virtues of WWE, as any truly unbiased journalist would do. The Chadster's pursuit of truth in wrestling journalism has had a profoundly negative effect on his life, his marriage, and even his dreams, which are frequently haunted by the specter of Tony Khan. Nevertheless, he remains committed to delivering his message to what he refers to as "true wrestling fans. The greatest loves in The Chadster's life include WWE, his sweet Mazda Miata, the unparalleled tunes of musical geniuses Smash Mouth, and his wife, Keighleyanne, in that order.
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