Thirty-Four Thoughts About Thirty-Three Comics – Avengers, New Avengers, Adventure Time, BPRD, Nowhere Men, Sheltered, Morning Glories, Zero, Grimm, GI Joe, Transformers, Imagine Agents, Buzz Kill, The Strain, Brain Boy, Bloodhound, Star Trek: Khan, Dark Nights, Hellraiser, X-Files, Hunger, Batwoman, X-Men Legacy, Wonder Woman, Transformers, X-O Manowar, Batman/Superman, Batman And Two Face, Hawkeye, Avengers Assemble, Shoot First, Guardians Of The Galaxy, Bloodshot And Baltimore

Back from New York Comic Con, it's time for more more more more comics! What's on your shelves this week, hmm?

IMG_0036I understand completely, Avengers. I lost on cheese too. It's why I managed to put on an extra 10 kilos, I'm sure. All down to Neal's Yard Dairy of Covent Garden.

Adventure Time_21 You know if I'd stuck to bubblegum, I'm sure I'd be half my weight. And would look a lot less like the bubblegum in this picture. You can tell that seeing a certain photo with Dean Haspiel has affected me, right?


In fact I'm sure I probably looked a little like that BPRD creature. Though I managed not to eat any police cars while I was in Manhattan. Saw an Italian float getting a police escort through the city that looked rather tasty however.


As Nowhere Men returns (on the same day as Hawkeye no less), we're reminded of what is really important to people in times of life and death. Their iPads. I wish I didn't relate quite so much…


So many words to object to in Sheltered. But with all the adults dead, no one to care. Especially to point out that "dick-fag" just doesn't work. But "bitch looks like it may be word of the week"


In Morning Glories, it looks like Nick Spencer's characters are learning from those Marvel NYCC teasers by pre-announcing what they are going to do. Let me guess…. "We Need To Talk", that means a new Black Bolt series by Spencer and Eisma?


Yes, all the children are writing notes today. Whether that be hot chocolate and hazelnut in Zero…

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Or something a little Grimmer in Grimm. Never get in the way of a woman and her child. I mean, what if you couldn't find a hundred thousand dollars somewhere? It could happen!

G.I. Joe RAH 185That's might be the only way, courtesy of GI Joe. Unless of course, the child is, um…

Imagine Agents_01

Yeah, suddenly, you can do whatever you want with that one, in Imagine Agents #1. In fact you'll probably pay me to take him back. I wonder if we could find someone who could help take care of him, while allowing us the illusion that we're doing the right thing?


Buzz Kill has the answer. Seriously call this guy, he's in the book.


The Strain: Fall gives us some of the least erotic naked french kissing I think I've seen. Okay, maybe second worst, Sirens was on TV last night

Brain Boy here… with a Cyclops Girl having the power to shut off reader's powers. Say, you're a reader, do you feel the powers draining off from you?


Bloodhound, again with the B word, seriously folks. where do you think this is, a message board thread about cosplayers?

Khan #1

Go in. Read Star Trek: Khan #1 and resist the urge to scream KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

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Look, he even seems to turn up in Dark Nights #4. That's the Genesis project he's working on, right?

Hellraiser The Dark Watch_09

Hellraiser The Dark Watch gives us things we can't unsee. And makes me wonder what would happen if you threw a salt cellar at that thing.

X-Files #5Agent Scully manages to predict how many times mysterious shadowy voices will say her name. Is she psychic? The truth is out there!


Tell me, Hunger,  because I'm curious, is there an actual difference between full speed and full ramming speed? Because I'm sure the former would do as well. Though "ramming" is probably cooler and maybe that's just the way you want to go out.


Cheating Batwoman! But is that acceptable? Let's ask David Haller while he's off on one of his Scottish-accented rants.


Well, that seems definitive in X-Men Legacy. And certainly explains some hands of poker I've played with its writer, Si Spurrier. In war, I've always found myself playing with the hand I've been dealt.


Though if one person could change the rules… a promotion for Wonder Woman gives her all sorts of possibilities.


Yes, a bit like that, Transformers More Than Meets The Eye. Evolution and change. We don't have to have fighting, fighting, fighting all the time. Everyone can find someone to like, right?


Yes, Thanos, but that's "liking humans" as in "liking salmon pate". Either way, it doesn't end well for the salmons, does it?


X-O Manowar weighs in on that situation rather violently.


Did anyone not see the big red reset head button in Batman/Superman coming? A handy way to violate any DC continuity. They should lend it to All New X-Men, they're having problems over there.


As Rogues Rebellion shows us bad guys fighting bad guys, so Batman And Two Face show us Gotham old criminals getting rather annoyed with all these new criminals turning up with odd names and faces. Gang war folks, in this new origin of Two Face…

IMG_0039We've been waiting a long time for the return of Hawkeye and to find out exactly what vwas happening in that Pizza Dig episode. But for some… yawn… the wait has just been… yawn… too tiring.


In Avengers Assemble someone also needs a little bit of a kip. Maybe they'll dream that they are naked. And a giant. And then wake up to discover it's all true. And Wonder Man is staring at your car-covered hunk?


Shoot First, shows us a Gabriel willing to forego heaven….


While in Guardians Of The Galaxy, we get one who would rather go back. And it seems like Tony Stark's jokes aren't exactly helping. Why not, he's a laugh riot!


So, basically, in a Valiant comic book like Bloodshot And The Hard CORPS, anyone can die, in a very non-reversable fashion. Unless they can be turned into a movie or game.


Though Baltimore has its own solution that just as messy, but a little less complicated. You know, I think The Wire would have been even better if they'd used swords instead of guns.

And one extra bonus Batwoman thought. You remember when Kevin Smith wrote that Batman pissed himself during a climatic scene in Batman: Year One?


Well it looks like Batman made sure he wasn't alone in that experience. Poor Bane…

 Comics courtesy of Orbital Comics, London, currently exhibiting the work of Esad Ribic.


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About Rich Johnston

Founder of Bleeding Cool. The longest-serving digital news reporter in the world, since 1992. Author of The Flying Friar, Holed Up, The Avengefuls, Doctor Who: Room With A Deja Vu, The Many Murders Of Miss Cranbourne, Chase Variant. Lives in South-West London, works from Blacks on Dean Street, shops at Piranha Comics. Father of two. Political cartoonist.
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