Another look at the day's comic books with the most-read column on Bleeding Cool… and there is an awful lot to get stuck into!
From today's X-Men... we discover that Psyclocke's current beau is/was a hologram that she designed herself. See, I'm not trying to be prejudiced, but that can't be healthy. Not wanting to be AI-ist but that just smacks of incest, doesn't it? I know there's a stereotype that women take a man and change him to be more like their ideal but… yeah. That's an odd one. Must be because she's British, they have all these sexual hangups, you know, based on the class system. Can't she find a real man?
See, Red Sonja knows. He just has to smell nice. They had lower standards in Cimerian times. A can of Lynx Sport and you could rule the land.
Though today it seems that Nachos will do the trick just as well, according to Regular Show 2014 Annual. Any other tasty snacks do the job?
Though, as in The Last Broadcast #2, not everyone is quite as friendly. And conjures up all sorts of… unpleasant pictures.
Of course, as in Witcher #4, some women are a lot fussier when it comes to a companion. No wonder some men turn to drink after repeated rejections.
…is bourbon instead of a woman. In Lone Ranger #25 at least. Emphasis on the "lone" I guess. But it's tough to be a woman in comic books. Always being judged by your appearance…
Even Aphrodite XI gets it from her friends. Too slutty, not slutty enough, how is someone to choose? But don't get too upset…
As "female hysteria" can be a real bind. Witchfinder #1 does its best to find a cure. If only tis were as fictional as it seems.
From Batman And Ra's Al Ghul #32, a rather macabre reprise of Lone Wolf And Cub…
I'm totally going to get this from Josh Hoopes' kids one day, aren't I? Still, I've got Five Years Later to prepare I suppose, in Futures End.
From MPH #2 there… that Marvel Movie would be Days Of Future Past, wouldn't it? The Quicksilver scene?
Alex + Ada introduces an Amazon drone with little fuss. I really want to write a children's book about a young girl who finds one in the bottom of her garden. Anyone care to draw it?
Bob Fingerman's Minimum Wage channels a number of artists this week, including Richard Corben and Moebius, as our hero tries to distract himself from the attraction of women by transforming his world into that of underground or European comics artists. With disasterous results.
From Batwoman, there. Actually I think Batman is constantly checking his voice mail and making new messages, as he goes. That's why he says "I'm Batman" all the time, he's tring get the tone of his answer message juuuuuust right.
If you've got a problem with time, us draw it on the blackboard. From the Beast to Booster Gold to Quentin Quire in Wolverine And The X-Men, it's always the best way. Comics proves it,
Uncanny X-Men gets rather critical of the current state of time travel and multiversal storytelling. Man, they're going to flip when they get to the DC Band Aid next year…
While Iron Man, written by a Brit, basically points out that the Empire was probably the best thing going and that democracy is bunk. Which is a terribly Anti-American thing to say, but it also slams communism, which makes up for it.
Clive Barker's Next Testament #10 might seem to agree as well. Dominance, that's what we need, dominance!
Sex Criminals continues it's rather entertaining wordplay. Anyone else care to join in?
Um, no, not so much, Wonder Woman #32. Wordplay may not be the lowest form of wit, but it's hardly Shakespeare.
Except it probably is, isn't it? Auteur #4 gets closer. What would Hamlet have been like if William could have Copy-And-Replaced so the lead was called Windscreen Badger instead?
While Kill Shakespeare: The Mask of Night gives us that classic Shakespearian reposte "glrrgg". The bard at his finest.
Doodle Jump #1 introduces us to the filthiest language possible. Urban Dictionary defines "spork" as to "have an erection while spooning".
Winter World #1 doesn't bother with anything obscure. Though that might make for a more interesting episode of X-Files.
While Magnus #4 has a robot developing a sever case of Stockholm syndrome. There must be a patch for that by now…
Eye Of Newt #1 gives us a new public transport option, though I'm not sure if dragons would be a solution to smog or to climate change.
Axecop #2 also joins in the transport opportunity game as prehistoric axes take theirrevenge. Yes, it's as silly as ever. But how would you deal with such a threat?
Sadly, for the Turtles In Times #1, not every dinosaur wears shades.
While Brainboy: Gestalt #2 discovers its own public transport issues with a lack of in-flight entertainment.
Dracula has certainly seen better days. Less likely to get the women (and some of the men) swooning at his feet, waiting to be bitten. But it's all abot presentation. Taling of which, I know the Xander eyepatch look in Buffy Season 10 is meant to reference Nick Fury. But with that hair growth and that stubble, I'm getting more links to Jesse Custer in Preacher…
BPRD #120 puts the boy back into Hellboy. And the death of a dog. A Hell dog. Somethin close anyway. It never goes down well, no matter how hellish the boy is,,
Star Wars: Darth Maul #2 gets some strong photo reference on. But is it Star Wars or Lord Of The Rings? It gets harder to tell each passing year…
Anchovies. Someone ordered anchovies for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. No? Well then what's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? Maybe Star Trek can tell us?
And also, they don't go well with mozzarella, basil and oregano, do they? Star Trek: City On The Edge Of Forever #1 there adapting the original, pre-Rodenberried version. "The Star Trek", basically, to use Dark Horse's terminology.
Samurai Jack #9 – it's basically a dance move song, right? Talking of dancing…
The Wicked And The Divine #1 is your comic book of the month. By far. Complex, world building, people building, full of sound and fury signifying everything. But it's not like other comics are without their charms, in a similar fashion.
Powerpuff Girls #10 isn't that far off, is it?
While My Little Pony: Friends Forever #6 goes for a statistical solution.
Littlest Pet Shop does a wonderful job at playing with the various extremes of Pokemon, Moshi Monsters and its various other rivals.
Unity #8 has a very impatient ninja in Ninjak. I thought they were meant to have some kind of inner peace? Not so much hiding in plain sight here…
And even less so in Harbinger #24. Just remember, big is beautiful!
Jim Rugg's last issue of Adventure Time should probably have watching the Game Of Thrones finale. Skeleton Warriors are so much better than teamwork…
The final Loki: Ragnarok and Roll #4 will make you feel sorrier for the Flying Spaghetti Monster than ever before. No one loves his noodly appendages.
The launch issue of Constantine-alike Thomas Alsop #1 lets us know the hidden truth behind Charlie Sheen. He is not a warlock. Well, now I just don't know what to think, my world has been destroyed.
So… what have you been reading this week?
Comics courtesy of Orbital Comics, London, currently exhibiting the work of Shaky Kane.