Thirty-Three Thoughts About Thirty-Three Comics – Superior Spider-Man, All- New X-Men, Avengers, Justice League Of America, Secret Avengers, Batgirl, Royal Masters Of War, Star Wars, She-Hulk, Wolverine & The X-Men, Gravel, Crosse, Stitched, Abe Sabien, X, Clown Fatale, Letter 44, Revolutionary War: Death's Head II, Sixth Gun, X-Men Legacy, X-Factor, Robocop, Regular Show, Think Tank, Egos, Bunker, X-Files, Red Sonja, Protocol Orphans, Memory Collectors, Transformers, City: The Mind In The Machine, Uncanny And Sons Of Anarchy

Welcome to another week of comic book thinking. The London underground tube strike was called off, and I was able to get into town without any trouble. Aside from the rain, the thunder, the commuters late for their proper jobs and, you know, life.

And now I sit at my regular spot on the fifth floor of Waterstones, with a rainy view over London, reading comic books. So what's out this week?

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Gail Simone teaches us in Batgirl that sometimes what a woman really really wants is a pretty dress. Men too, sometimes. And yes, more plainclothes police in ballgowns is just what we need. And yes, superfolk need to spend some time being pampered.

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The Avengers tell you the truth. You know, I now want to see Iron Man in a prom dress. Am I wrong?

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Someone likes We3 don't they? Secret Avengers sees Shang Chi against a foe where hand-to-hand combat may not quote be enough. Also, love the little panels in this issue. Especially MODOK signing a contract…

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Though, as Sixth Gun shows us, exactly the outcome of any contract can never quite be determined at the time or signing…

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The final X-Men Legacy of the current run goes out with a bang and a buck. It's not uncommon for a comic book to end with a scorched earth policy, but this one seems willing to wipe the entire run of this book, of the entire character, from existence. And then doesn't. A rather clever book with some very nice panel-to-panel storytelling twists.

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Your husband and your step brother, All-New X-Factor has a lot of fun playing with the playoffs between the two. It's like X-Factor #87 all the time folks! And they;re not the only ones that sound like kids…

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Darth Vader sounds a bit like my kids arguing too, in the new Star Wars comic.

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And that's what happens when a lawyer writes a comic book about a lawyer, Charles Soule writing She Hulk. We get to learn everything they've observed about a superhero universe on a legal footing in one big burst. And it's wonderful.

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Because lead is fine for unborn babies, isn't it? Solar peril, again from Charles Soule in Letter 44 #4.

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Revolutionary War: Death's Head II doesn't just give us one Death's Head but two… and maybe more.

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Thanks to Superior Spider-Man, this is what your memory looks like when you are trying to remember something, from your memory's perspective. And yes, that means your memory gets to see you from a very unflattering angle.

You know there was a decade or so when comic book fans were convinced Iceman was gay?

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He's not exactly helping, in All-New X-Men.

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Okay, from Wolverine & The X-Men, expect an awful lot of Toad Tumblr weeping today. It's not easy being green.

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But Toad shouldn't fret, there's all sorts of ways you can be. I mean compare Martian Manhunter to his family in Justice League Of America, there's definitely room for growth. And if the worst comes to the worst, Toad, you can always go to Mars…

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There is no issue of Uber out today. You probably haven't got your send away #1/2 yet either. So, given that lack of Uber-ness, why not try Royal Man Of War? Which also has soldiers acting like machines of war. Though rather from the soldiers up, this is the royals down. Playing yup the concept of the God-given right to reign and the constitutional power granted – though rarely used in practice. And in Britain we've been more used to royals fighting in the British armed forces of late…

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Talking of which, Gravel is sitting on his arse as well. How long before that Combat Magician of the SAS won't be allowed to remain so solitary? About the end of the issue, of course.abesapien10

Soldiers aren't having a great time of it in Abe Sapien #10 either. All this supernatural stuff going on with wartime, it's not as if they haven't got enough to worry about.

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X #10 shows us that it's harder to look at the stars when you have blood flowing into your eyes from a gashing headwound inflicted by a man who inspired the Assassins Creed games…

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Clown Fatale #4 teaches you to stub out that stray cigarette. You never know where it may end.

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Like, in Crossed Badlands, you might end up as a zealous nutjob.

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The Bunker #1 is the kind of comic book that might no longer sell in Nebraska now. Or might sell more. I'm not sure how that works anymore.

X-Files #9

Well, Scully, that's what happens when you fart in your hand and cup it to your face. X-Files Season 10 continues.

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Sometimes, Dr. Loren, 'I'm Sorry' just doesn't cut it. Like when you're infecting hundreds of people with a horrible disease in Think Tank #12. Still, good try. Now, pick an orifice,m any orifice.

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Thank you, Uncanny #6. And some rather fun panel work there. Any more insults to play with?

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Red Sonja Beserker gives us a few. And yes, you might have thought by now that the people of this land may have learned not to call Red Sonja a harlot. It should have gotten around by now.

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Have you ever tried turning the City on and off again? It's the IT solution to City: The Mind In The Machine #1. Of course, you'll need an IT guy and they are always such drudging bores…

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Most of the time. A little less so in Protocol Orphans #4.

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And they just don't respect the tech in Regular Show #4 either.

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Memory Collectors #3 turns into a fortune cookie.

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Transformers: Robots in Disguise #26 there. Jiggety jog.

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Robocop: Live And Die In Detroit. What is it with Robocop and shooting folks in the penis? It's like he's obsessed. And yes, I did see this Robocop remake clip… and yes it's very very NSFW.

[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/86014703[/vimeo]

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Egos #2 gives us our first meeting with Messe. And yes, this is another of those what-Galactus-should-be creatures. This might be my favourite yet.

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Yes, you may be an alien from an interplanetary organisation, here to save the Earth from terrible things, in Great Pacific. But even you can be impressed by a tentacle.

And you can always trust Sons Of Anarchy to get you into trouble.

SOA_06_panelYes, you.

So… what are you reading today?

Comics courtesy of Orbital Comics, London. With an exhibition of the work of Liz Prince, the launch of her new Top Shelf Comics title Alone Forever, with an exclusive limited bookplate.

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About Rich Johnston

Founder of Bleeding Cool. The longest-serving digital news reporter in the world, since 1992. Author of The Flying Friar, Holed Up, The Avengefuls, Doctor Who: Room With A Deja Vu, The Many Murders Of Miss Cranbourne, Chase Variant. Lives in South-West London, works from Blacks on Dean Street, shops at Piranha Comics. Father of two. Political cartoonist.

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